He offered to be interviewed when I put out the call for volunteers, and I knew immediately I wanted to hear about his experience of divorce, Initially I had wanted the series to be all about different peoples’ experience of sex–what they learned growing up, what constituted sex ed at at home/school, first experiences, overall attitudes. But with him I remembered getting a facebook invite to a party that was part farewell to a marriage, part estate sale. At the time I thought him and his soon to be ex-wife incredibly respectful toward each other and thus felt intrigued by his seeming drama-free divorce. He had “a lot of angles and spins on divorce in his head” which I found him quite open to discussing, as I sat in my car outside work, furiously scribbling notes while he spoke into the phone.
A man in his mid-forties, he had been in the marriage for ten years, divorced now for three. I told him about my impression of his “divorce party” to which he replied, “I’m sure we seemed very evolved. In reality it took a lot of drama for us to get there. Once we had decided we weren’t healthy for each other, if we ever had been, it was easier to be civil.” Continue reading
I posed this question to my facebook friends the other day, asking folks to answer with the first thing that came to mind. I gave them the option of responding via message, because you know some people are private (I’ll let Kate H. expound upon THAT subject later). It took fifteen minutes for the first comment to come in, and for an exhilarating moment I thought, oh my god, no one is going to respond, and that will make for a hell of a post. But then people started chiming in, both publicly and privately. The common thread seemed to be about freedom. Sure, there were variations on the theme, but almost every comment, in some way had to do with taking liberties without consultation.
candid uprising 