High Hopes In A Dark World

hopesThe power of a voice and the distance it can travel is astonishing. One simple post on social media can leave the world with numerous meanings. Just the other day, I posted a photo with the caption, “High Hopes in a Dark World”, and the feedback I received was very diverse. Most were wondering if something was wrong, or simply admired the creativity and perspective.

The self-portrait I submitted displayed a unique lighting effect on my face. The sun was starting to set, making for a very bright and powerful cast over the blinds on my windowpane. Naturally, I gravitated toward the beauty of the moment and wanted to capture it. Dark shadows over the brightness of my face made me wonder about how I constantly feel optimistic in what can be a very dark world.

I say the world can be a dark place because well, it can be. Dark having multiple meanings from negative energy, hate to greed and jealousy. The ability people have to misconstrue others’ intentions to fill a void within themselves. More often than not, this leads to insecurities that can  turn into resentment, which darkens the world.

Ever since I was young, I had this gut wrenching feeling that I was destined to be someone different. My views and perspectives were always beaming with great optimism. I believed in finding another way for anything. If I wanted something badly enough and worked hard for it, I knew it was mine to achieve.

As I grew older that optimism was easily beaten by the disbelief of others. Peers would discourage my projects, doubt my choices, and try to alter my opinion to justify their own. I did not allow that to stop me. I was always taught, no matter the circumstance, always believe in yourself and never let anyone make you feel differently. Confidence is always stronger than any doubt.

Jealousy, in my opinion is the root of darkness; hating someone because they have something you do not posses. Attempting to lower others’ standards to cause them to fail. Fake friends fit seamlessly in this category. Pretending to be friends to get a so-called status. Or jealous of someone’s natural given talent or beauty. You start to resent this person for the way they seem until their mask is lifted. Assumptions arise, and often create a dark view. Mostly, we see jealousy in professions and desire for material possessions. Yet, jealousy can go deeper than material items, it can boil down so deep inside a person that it creates hate. Hate destroys lives and ultimately causes wars.

Personally I cannot relate to a jealous demeanor. For me it just doesn’t make sense to despise someone because they either worked for what they own or were just simply born with it. I’ve always loved to help others find their voice or inner beauty. I get a feeling of accomplishment knowing I helped changed someone’s life or perspective.

I learned to accept the fact that sometimes it’s not in my destiny, and that something better is beyond the horizon.

Is there really darkness in the world? Or is it created by those who do not have enough light? We all want to have a sense of acceptance from others. However, sometimes this need result in negative attention or basking in the limelight of people with the wrong intentions. We crave the attention so badly that we easily forget who is presenting it. It’s a perfect situation for allowing oneself to be hurt. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Leonardo da Vinci, “It’s easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.” If you know you are doing it for the wrong reasons, end it now before it is too late.

Then there’s the fact that we create fake love. Pretending to love someone to make someone else jealous. Staying with a lover just to have someone versus being alone. Love is the one tiny piece of magic we have in this life, and many force it with the wrong partner. Distraction is not being fully invested with the presence of your partner. Feelings become ignored. At this point a dangerous comfort can be created and neglect starts its fresh beginning. The world darkens.

Vulnerability can create a dark cloud if we’re not accepted by the right person. Self-doubt begins to arise, creating a belief that a relationship is not working out due to fantasies and fallacies. I cannot stand tarnishing love. How can we possibly accept infidelity? What is the purpose of being in a relationship if you are not loyal? As I grow older I feel that love is more rare than anything in this entire world. It’s dark.

Often, the thought of finding true love is scary, and is it still possible? I’ve witnessed so many broken relationships and could never understand why anyone would be with someone who doesn’t make them happy. Call me old-fashioned but I believe in soulmates and finding a connection. A spark so intimidating that it leaves you breathless, that is true love. I have high hopes.

We choose to ignore the simplest wonders that can captivate our lives. We choose to allow negativity take over our inner being. Trying to fit in this impossible mold that is created by some industry standard. Beauty has to be about size or image. Who created this bizarre stereotype and why do we allow it to continue? There is so much pressure and self-doubt in our world causing unnecessary stress. It’s dark, the standards to which we’re held.

Individuality…everyone has it but tries to hide it, why? Is it because the feeling of rejection or neglect is stronger? The only times we can shine is when we believe in ourselves. We need the reassuring voice in our heads or the validation of others confirming what we knew all along.  We all want to feel a sense of importance or accomplishment. To have a relatable connection with someone else that can make us feel empowered. Brighter.

That is where I felt rejuvenated this past year. I re-connected with a great group of friends that share my same optimism about life. It just makes me wonder, why can’t others have the same respect for each other? We have to shine light together.

I know the world is a beautiful place. There is so much hidden beauty that is left to be undiscovered. For me, I feel like that is what life is all about, finding that beauty and the passion that will ignite my soul.

I say I have high hopes in a dark world because I refuse to allow the insecurity of others alter my optimism. I work at being an optimist when the world is constantly trying to pull me down. Having high hopes is a belief that there is always light even in the dark.

Samara is a sunny optimist, dreamer, and person of many passions.

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